Timeline, Skyline

It was 8am, I am heading home from the hospital while most of the people are heading to work. I was walking up the foodbridge and saw the sky… It was so beautiful. My weariness was blown away.

Along the dirty steps and foul smelling stairs of Cubao, where thousands of people commute on a daily basis, here I am realizing and telling myself to keep it slow and let dreams be achieve on its own time.

I’ve been sticking to my calendar plans and life goals, creating checklist of achievements along age number. Thinking that if I would live at 40-50years at the most, I must achieve this and that before I reach the age of which.

 Then today I deeply thought about timeline… a man on the side of street selling corns, the woman on the patio smelling charcoals from roasting porks and isaw, the middle-aged uncle with huge-patched-travel-bag and a box of doughnut, the lady in full make up wearing plain flat slippers, the kids playing kara-krus from alms, and me… the nurse who was busy saving lives 24/7, trying to achieve the MSN degree before 25, making time for family and friends… getting ready for migrating to States and get married to my long term LDR boyfriend who’ll be arriving soon in 2mos from this point of time to pick me up and get married after I turned 25… Oops, and that was also in 2months time.

Hey Winn, take it slow. For the past 3years I’ve been seeing the same scene on my way home but today felt so different. Apparently, I failed. My thesis won’t make it before my presumpted graduation day… I’ll be leaving without the degree I’ve been working on. I can’t be more sad thinking that this is one of the biggest reason why I am still here, and still trying to fit in with my low salary yet mutually rewarding job. Then I start rationalizing again… think of the people who pass along with me on this crowded terminal. Then I said to myself:

You are blessed… be more appreciative and thankful. Failing at your set timeline doesn’t mean it’s the end… look at the sky, it has no limit.

 Dreams and goals are like that too… it’s limitless. And, like all the billion people looking at the same sky everyday, each of us has a good day ahead of us. Be kind to yourself, be kind to other people. Work hard, play hard, be thankful. Everyday is a winnerday afterall.

A Better Mistake

“What doesn’t break you, makes you stronger.” -a quote I always say to myself whenever I feel something or someone’s pulling me out on track.

Human are capable of making errors and so as machineries, as it is manipulated by human. It is okay to make mistakes… We learn from it. Acknowledging our shortcomings and humbly taking responsibility over it is what makes it different.

On your lowest point, true people also arises… they’ll help you silently and encourage you to do better. They’re the ones who lets you see the brighter side as well as the dark side. Treasure them.

To that something or someone… Always remember that you are better than that/them. Coz a good person never hauls, the true meaning of crab-mentality is helping the other get on top, not dragging them down.

Scarred Today, Stronger Tomorrow

I believe that the future is bright…so bright that I can be a light to other people.
Yes, today marks a scar that I will hold on to eternity. They say that people gives reason to everything…

Every thing happens for a reason.

That’s okay. Same goes for HAPPINESS IS A MATTER OF PERCEPTION.

I am a person who always fight for what I believe is right, and never stops till I win. But today I let it seem like I lost. I did not fight even though I have a loaded gun. I cried in silence and smiled on their face. Now I am contented coz I won even when I lost.

I won life lessons, more patience and understanding.

I learned today that sometimes you just need to let them win to promote peace and harmony. Let the prosecutor indict. Let the audience’s mind be intrigued. Let the sun rise to the South. After all, there is only one judge looking from above to all of us. What important is you know yourself and never let anyone put a label on you. 

At the end of the day, grades are just numbers, numbers are just for counting, those that can be counted have worth but is not valuable.

I am scarred today but I am not scared coz tomorrow I’ll be stronger. (Pain tolerance increased) 😝

I look younger than my actual age.

Even the sun creates a dark shade called shadow. The brighter the sun, the darker the shadow.

Sibling Fights

I have two sisters, we are all two years apart. We fight almost everyday, with little things, with big things, with serious things, in everything. Maybe if we were twins, we could have been boxing inside my mother’s womb. 😂

I heard other people say they are tired of their siblings and wishes their friends was their siblings instead. It is not bad to have a friend you call a “sister from another mother,” it is not good either to treat your own brother like he was not of your own blood.
But why do we sometimes treat our siblings so rude? Why do we sometimes show them our worst?
My opinion is that because we are comfortable with them…that in the deepest corner of our brain, we trust in them to the point that it is only them who can accept our worst and still loves us unconditionally. It is our sibling who will cook us meal the next morning like nothing happened last night. It is our sibling who will encourage us to try again even if they call us looser. It is our sibling who will call us ugly but be the first to say you look so good on your graduation dress or suit.

That’s just how it goes…you will always fight but never let it break your bond. 👯

 

My elder sister and I 👯

 

Sunset

Do you also love sunset? 

  I used to love sunrise as it signifies new beginnings and chances… It gives me choices like whether to start now or make a change. As I conquered life challenges and experience struggles, my perspective have changed…I started to love sunset more than sunrise.

I am an overthinker, I admit it…I over rationalize things but what good in it is that I learned to see different angles in every situation. At the end of each day I ask myself, “did I make someone smile today?” Or “did I do what is right?” Then I have flashbacks of my entire activity.

Everyday is a blessing from above…every sunset says “You survived another day.”

We all have different obstacles and from that arises our various coping mechanisms to help us conquer it. What important is that when the sundown comes, we do not just survive for own but we also helped others survive.

It’s not how long we have live… It’s what we do when we were alive.

  

Stay

Everything has a reason, everyone has a purpose. How our lives are connected, how words can be so powerful it can built or ruin you and the people around you.

Right now in this moment, there are billions of people breathing around the world. A half of them, you haven’t met. Some have met their forever, some have lost, some are still searching and all just wants to be happy.

In a world of endless possibilities and uncertainties, what we need is someone who will stay with us and make us feel we are never alone. Traveling will be an adventure. Everyday will be a masterpiece. All boulders will just turn into dust and all the hazy path will lead to a better road.

But, what if you have lost the reason to stay?

Again, what is the reason why you will stay?

We all have tendencies to leave if we feel that we are not of great help or when we feel unappreciated. But, when you are in a situation where all you could think of is giving up or running away…think again…and again.

Stay when no once else will. Love till all you can give is nothing but more love.

Conquering LDR Blues

It have been two and a half months since my boyfriend left for the USA. It is hard for me and I know it is the same for him. He and his family left for good…yes, I have thoughts of coming there for him but I also have this dream ever since I was a child to work and live in UK. Conflicting, I know. Now let’s go back to the topic…entering an LDR, I read lots of articles and asked people in LDR how they made it possible. So far, for me the following works.

USE Technology
Well, thank you to modernization and the genius behind it! Yes, there are tons of way to COMMUNICATE…You can have facebook, viber, skype, kakao talk, yellow, we chat, facetime and a lot more. There are wide choices of cute stickers to use, say goodbye to plain and boring messaging. You can also attach video, photo and voice message. Record yourself singing a love song or saying good night…it is good too because the receiver can playback your voice and feel you’re just beside them.

FORGET Technology
You read it right, forget technology. Go grab your paper and pen then wrote your love one a letter. You can even spray your perfume on it to add more spice. When I got his first letter I felt amazed and a little complete, you know the idea of that piece of paper was once held by him and now I am the one holding and reading it. Plus the fact that not all get to experience this old school but oh so romantic snail mail stuff. Now you can brag this with your grandma. ☺️

Look at what you have…
Who says that when someone goes, nothing’s left? No, you have all the good memories. Everything you did together, the silly stuffs, the promises…you have to hold it in your heart. Do not forget that you also have your family and friends around you. You might have been idle with them when you had your partner beside you but remember that it is never too late besides, a true friend understands you without even explaining anything.

TURN around, PLAY around
When I said turn around it doesn’t mean look for fling and play. What I mean is there are a lot of activities you can do. Try cooking, learn a new dish so when he/she come back you will be able to surprise him/her with an indoor date. Learn how to knit and send him scarf you made for the winter…it will make him feel as if you are hugging him and keeping him warm. Do the things you are doubted to do before, enroll for a Taekwondo class and learn defense. Go play! Explore new places, you can go there together when you reunite.

Do not listen to sad love songs
No negativity allowed in here: I am not saying that sad love songs are to be banned but what I want to emphasize is the idea of becoming more sad when you internalize that lyrics that says “it breaks my heart you are not here beside me” What you can do is choose song with good lyrics and beat…it’ll be better if you hear “it breaks my heart you are not here beside me but I’ll be okay because we will be together again…someday”
It’s all about mood setting.

Verbalize your feelings…
Don’t let emotions eat you…you have to let it out. If you miss him, tell him. It does not only let him know that he is worth missing but somehow it also gives him an assurance that it is only him you long to be with.
A little PDA is good too, tweet it, share what’s on your mind on facebook…but remember too much PDA can be awkward at times. Yes, you miss him everyday but it can be irritating for your friends to read it every minute or see pictures of you and your partner kissing. I know, you love each other to the core and you don’t care what the world thinks but, hey! It can be saturating for both of you too. Studies shows too that the more you kept things between you two, the more it lasts. Learn to breathe in the moment before you post in social networks. Being reserved is really something…